31 March 2009

Actual Conversation

Phone rings.
ME: "(Company name), This is Heather."
Voice on the Phone: "Yes, I need to speak with the person in charge of purchasing printer supplies."
ME: "That's me."
Voice, suddenly nicer: "Hi, how are you doing today?"
ME: "I'm fine. How can I help you?"
Voice: "Oh good--glad to hear your day is going good. This is Jason, at (company name I can't remember). I just wanted to bla, bla, bla. Bla, bla, bla. Bla, bla, bla. What machines are you running most down there? Is it an HP, or--"
ME: "It's a Brother."
Jason: "Is it a multi-unit?"
ME: "Yes."
Jason: "And what's the model number?"
ME: "I don't know off the top of my head." (I'm lying. It's a 8660.)
Jason: "Oh, that's alright. You know, I really don't mind being put on hold while you go check."
ME: "You know, I'm actually really happy with my supplier, so we're not interested."
Jason: " That's cool. You know sometimes in life people hand us a life preserver. If you were swimming, and I threw you a life preserver, would you take it?"
ME: "Probably not."
Jason, laughing: "No? So you'd just drown?"
ME: "Sure." [Thinking about the fact that (going along with his analogy) I'm "swimming" just fine right now, and that being the case, why on Earth would I take a floaty from a stranger who's just trying to get his hand in my wallet?]
Jason: "...Ok. Have a nice day."


Liz W. said...

"Probably not." That cracked me up!

Erica said...

That is the funniest thing I have ever heard. And yet, I know I've been there! I think I had very similar conversations at the office where I used to work! Hahahahaha. Awesome.

Amanda said...

I love it!
One of the nice things about being a mom is that I can always say 'My baby just pooped on me' as a great excuse to hang up on someone. They never argue with me!!

Christy said...

ha ha. i love it.