30 June 2008

Recaptured Joy

I remembered something I didn't know I'd forgotten. It's this bitter-sweet feeling I used to get when reading a really great book, and towards the end I'm torn between wanting to read faster so I know what happens, and wanting to put the book down because I don't want the experience to end. It doesn't come with just any book. I read most of the Nancy Drew and Baby-Sitters Club series, (and I loved them) but that feeling was never there, because there was always another book I could read, so I didn't lose the characters/author's style/whatever it is that attracted me. And then school came and I had to read, not to to enjoy and experience, but to write papers, and to figure out what teachers would ask about. It was always about finishing it faster, and skimming for facts. But now there's time to enjoy reading. I'm thrilled by that feeling. That joy to just sit. The desire to stay up past my bed time, even though I have to get up early then next morning, and knowing it's going to be worth it. I'm still not entirely sure what exactly it is that gives books that magic ability to pull on my heart. And maybe I'm not describing it quite right, I never have been very good at expressing myself...but just sitting here and remembering it makes my heart swell a little. I can't wait to feel it again.

28 June 2008

How I get Myself in Trouble

How do I get myself in trouble? By running my mouth. By saying more than I should have. By betraying confidences. By letting secrets slip out, because I don't know how to lie. Long as I can remember I've been bad at telling lies. I've always been okay with that fact, because lying is bad, right? Well, today I can understand it's use. Today I hurt a friend. I wish I felt okay with telling partial truths to you, or maybe if I could sugar coat the truth so it's easier to digest. I wish I could have held back the whole truth until you were ready to accept it, or maybe 'till the situation changed--because I know it will. But the question came, and in my surprise words come pouring out because the silence would have spoken louder than the awfulness of the worst truth. Why did you have to ask that question? Why that way? Because when the answer should be an easy yes or no, there is no way make it a kinda or maybe. But how do I explain that to you?
Actually, I guess it's not just my lack of lying ability that kills me, because I wouldn't really want to lie to a friend, but when you add that to the fact that every day my English gets worse, the result is me in a bad situation. To you who I've hurt: I apologize. I don't think I expressed myself well. Because I forgot to say the word "alone" which might change everything (or maybe it'll just make it all worse). I didn't know how to explain the context, and there wasn't time to go through the history.
Maybe if I'd been able to process what sounded like an easy question, I could have come up with something more fitting; something more beneficial for you...But in ignorance I expected you to take on a whole new mound of problems that are all due to my own inadequacies, and in reality reflect nothing on you (except maybe your poor choice in counting me among your friends). I hope you can understand how bad I am at expression, and how it is worse when I try to express thoughts of someone else.
...Maybe you don't even think about that answer (although by the look on your face I know it crushed you, as you tried to hide it), and it is something you've already forgotten about. Or maybe it has inspired you to investigate the situation...but I know that if it was me, I'd cry. I'd be crying harder than I am now because it wasn't fair. And it wasn't true. You make jokes about it now, but I know that jokes are rooted in true feelings.
To you who I love and will always want to protect I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me. I hope you know how my heart is breaking right now at the thought of the pain I might have caused you, and at the reputation I might have marred.

23 June 2008

Talent to Show

Ever since last year's talent show, (in which I was forced to stand for an impromptu recitation of Dane Cook's "Car Alarm Song") I've been searching for a new talent--a performance talent. Well, I've always been enamored of people with artistic ability, and I've seen this particular talent performed in places like street fairs and Vegas, so when I stumbled upon these videos today, I decided I'm gonna have to give it a try. I really have loved spray paint since I was a kid and we used to play with it in my friend's backyard: we'd spray it onto a bucket of water, and then use a stick to swirl it around until we had a huge paint ball at the end of the stick...I'm not really sure why I liked doing that, but it was fun! ...Okay, so maybe it was the paint fumes...either way...
This is the first video I saw, and I have to admit that when he started, I was a little confused as to how this mess of color was considered art, but when you see the end result--It's amazing:

Super Sprayer - The funniest videos clips are here

This is a quick, one minute picture, for those of you who are short on time:

This is my favorite (I'm a beach nut):

...Now, If I could just convince my parents to let me use their spray paint again...

16 June 2008


Look at us, drawing knives. :-) We had so much fun at Laurapalooza! ...Unfortunately I was so involved in the particitating aspect of the day, I neglected to take many pictures. I think there are a grand total of 4, and this was the best one. I was sad to realize no one had hats on! But asside from that shocking disappointment, it was such a fun day! I loved running around the grocery store with my cheif's cap on--It was so funny when that man offered to be a judge. What was everyone else's favorite moment?

11 June 2008


You seen this yet?

10 June 2008

How do I get that job?

I think most of my friends would be really good at this. Well, there are actually 2 parts to this site Originally the creators were just using google Earth to find arial views of cool stuff, then they added the Street View Camera.<--That's what I want to do. Just go around doing the things we want to do anyway. What a great job! I mean, I guess reviewing all the pictures/videos might be time consuming and tedious, but remember, it is a job. It's not supposed to be all fun and games--at least that's what people say. And just think of all the cool stuff you'd see! I think it would be a blast!

09 June 2008

Living Art

I've always wanted to attend the Pageant of the Masters. I think this will be the year. Anyone want to come with? I'm thinking about doing the early July special: so it's buy one, get one free for 9-18 July. The show starts at 8:30pm, but I think I'll make a day out of it.

06 June 2008

Happy National Doughnut Day!

Who else needs a holiday today? When I first heard about National Doughnut Day (NDD) I thought it was a silly excuse to get us into the corner do-nut shop, but it's a lot more important than that. NDD started in 1938 as a fundraiser, and is now commemorated in honor of the "Salvation Army lassies." They were among the few women allowed near the front lines during WW1 and provided home cooked meals.
You can get a free doughnut from Krispy Kreme today. If there isn't a KK near you, this site ends with a few interesting recipes or, if you prefer to be authentic, you can use the original Salvation Army's Recipe. This original recipe was first served in 1917, so you know it's gotta be good.
My favorite doughnuts are the chocolate covered twisted bars; what's yours?