25 August 2008

Jelly

I'm always amazed by myself. And that's not to say that I'm amazing, or impressive. Just that I surprise myself. I mean, I should be an expert on myself by now. But I am often awakened to a new understanding. And maybe it's just because I took the summer off school, but my brain has seriously regressed. I forget words all the time; I forget things that I was supposed to do; I ask the same question repeatedly, knowing that I've already asked, or at least wanted to ask, but unable to remember any response; I have little to no attention span; even less patience...I'm sure the list goes on, but I can't think of anything else...
Having the summer off has allowed me to slow down a little. I still had to work, and didn't really have any "free time" but I was able to take a little more time to do things, which I appreciate. (I am a pretty slow person.) It also allowed me to strengthen/renew some friendships which I'd allowed to decay.
And for the first time in my life I felt confidant in what I was doing. This may come as a shock to some of you (because I do my best to hide it...but then again, maybe I'm not as good at hiding it, and you are already aware), but I have a ton of insecurities and phobias. I've had them my whole life, so like a good friend, I'm used to having them around. They often help to protect me from the world. But in the recent years, I decided that I'd be a more interesting person if I got over all the things that stop me from doing things. All kids should have a memory of climbing a tree, right? I don't think I ever did, because I was afraid of falling out and hurting myself. And what good did it do me? It may have saved me from the temporary pain a broken arm, but it also "saved" me from the experience, and a story to share. It cut me off from humanity, because I turned myself into an emotionless machine.
For whatever reason (and I have some theories), this summer has been a time free from my own insecurities. I did what I wanted without thinking too hard about what other people would think of me, or what could go wrong, or how I should protect myself from pain or failure. And it was great! I didn't necessarily overcome any huge fears, but I did face them. And I gotta say, I kinda enjoyed doing it.
I'll be honest here: I'm not entirely sure why I'm writing this, or what my point is. I just love reading up on your lives, and I felt like I should post something a little more personal than my usual blunderings of randomness I encountered throughout the Internet. And I'm not really good at telling stories about myself because I've never really had any. And there's really nothing new with me to share. ...But I promise to tell you about something I did last week--something I never thought I'd do. I actually already wrote my post about it, but I'm waiting for the pictures to be sent to me so I can include one...You're probably gonna want to see a picture of this.

23 August 2008

"I'm huntin' wrabbits."

Did you ever think you'd see me holding a gun? Me neither. But I went skeet shooting, and I actually hit something! I'm totally impressed! Some friends and I took a trip to Prado (the site of the 1984 Olympic shooting events). I am totally afraid of guns, but I'm trying to be brave, so I did it anyway. And the funny part is that I was fine while I was shooting because I was surrounded by professionals, and people were willing to figuratively hold my hand through the experience. But after I started feeling a little shaky. And as I was driving home, I kinda had a mini panic attack. I had to keep reminding myself to breath...kinda funny, I know. But it's one step at a time right? We're gonna go again, so let me know if you're interested!

*I was waiting for a friend to send me the pictures he took of me, but he's been busy (which I can totally understand), so I'm just gonna post this, and if I do get some pictures, I'll r-post it or link to it later, or something...

18 August 2008

Ready for a change


Ok--you all get to help me make a decision, aren't you excited? I think I will soon be ready to change my hair style. How should I get it cut? Taking into account my round face, I want you to find some pictures of styles. You can email them to me at shrugsnkisses@gmail.com, and then I will post them in a few weeks for everyone to see and vote. I already have one or two styles in mind, but I'd love to see some other options!

14 August 2008

P, A, R, T, Y? Because I wanna.


I've decided to throw myself a last minute party. Friday, My place, 7 pm., Churrasco (Brazilian BBQ). Come if you can and want to, if not--no worries, cuz I'll give you a little more notice for something later in the month (I'm not really sure what). I've decided it's a whole month of joy! :-) Invite anyone you want.

09 August 2008

Persid

If you get a chance, you should read up on this, then take some time at night to look up. Prime shower gazing time is early Tuesday morning, but you should see something if you have patience.