22 September 2009

In case you were thinking about hating me,

I have been informed that is apparently a bad idea, because I am:
Open Minded

...um...thank you?

21 September 2009

Have I ever told you...

I remember seeing this sign often while growing up, because the Montclair Plaza was the only mall in the area. It used to confuse me. "what's so important about 96? ...or is it nine sixths? What does that mean?" I used to ask myself. ...It was years before I finally figured out that what I thought said "9 / 6" is actually a fancy M, as in Montclair. I know.

13 September 2009

Adventure: September

We went on a WHIM Weekend--Rachel said so.
Actually, I had two Adventures this month because we also went to the FAIR!!!
We saw pig races:
From Picture of the Day 2
Jealous? You should be.

In the garden area I found these boards, and they are super interesting. I'm not really sure what attracted me to them, but they remind me of the rose parade, and things earthy, and beans--all of which I LOVE.
From Picture of the Day 2

10 September 2009

If you know you shouldn't...

I like to pretend to analyze lyrics. I'm sure I miss a lot, especially any and all deeper meanings but I do try to figure out the possible meanings and roots and key terms, etc. I know I'm often wrong*, but even then I'm usually content that it at least could make sense to me...

I was talking to my neighbor Carrie (love her!) yesterday and she told me about a song called "Lies, Lies, Lies." I think it's this one by the Thompson Twins:

It's a pretty funny song, but I do think it's interesting that people would lie. I mean, I can understand the lies people tell to cover their butts, like "oh, I forgot..." or "it was an accident" or "I didn't know that would happen." But to blatantly invent a false story is amazing to me. If you know you have to lie because it's the wrong thing to do, why do it? And if you decide to do it even though it isn't right, don't try to cover it up. Man up** to your actions. Or at least do it right,*** by making it believable and getting the people involved in your alibi to go along with the story. I had a friend once who I like to call a compulsive liar. I'm not sure he was, or even if it is a condition that exists, but it got to the point that our group of friends would just wait to hear his next huge story. And they were big lies. Like, "Last night I rode my bike to the Sun and married the most beautiful Martian you have ever seen" big. And on some level, I think he actually believed he was mostly telling the truth...except that he'd tell me that story, while also telling our mutual friend "Last night I found a glowing moon rock in my back yard, and when I picked it up it exploded and my hand fell of, but this morning my hand grew back" and someone else "Last night I watched ANTM because Tyra is so hot." Dude, keep track of your lies and stick to one story.

Maybe I'm just upset because I'm so bad at lying that when I try it sounds something like this: "Oh...um...ya. I-um...my phone died..." (while I look down and fidget with my fingers); but I've never really understood why people lie. I guess I could understand lying to strangers, because who cares? There's a good chance you'll never see them again any way...but why do it when you are lying to someone why knows you well, so you know**** you're gonna get caught.

Anyway, back to the song: I like the thought that lies are stolen/borrowed and exist in and of themselves, just floating around the world trying to catch people...It actually takes some effort to tell the truth sometimes. Now, that is not an excuse or justification to lie, but (for some people especially) it just comes naturally to lie; little white lies like "of course you look good in that dress" or "I love your hair" or "she doesn't hate you" or "no, I'm not Superman. My name is Clark." They've just gotten so used to saying whatever makes people happy that it is almost reflexive for them...

I also liked the line "twisted truth and half the news" because I think I do that all the time. ...That is a lie I could probably get away with, because I don't like to hurt people and I'd probably say the "he's just not that into you" half-truth instead of "ya, he thinks your really pushy." Although I personally would rather know the whole truth, because then you can make am informed decision in your reaction. If someone just doesnt like me, it's got nothing to do with me, so I'm "perfect" but if I know that they think I'm pushy I can evaluate myself and decide if I disagree and am fine, or if I agree and that I need to change.

I think what it comes down to is how often someone lies, and say they'll change. "You say you'll try harder, but I think it's just too late." I think that's the key. Everyone tells a lie at some point in time. Everyone does something wrong. No one is perfect. But when you keep saying you're gonna change, and then you don't--that's when it becomes a real problem. And the sad thing about lies is that they snowball. They might start out as white lies, but as soon as you become accustomed to lying so you don't hurt people, you begin to lie so you don't get hurt, and you lie to yourself, and then you lie just to do it. It's funny that the song says "well the car is revving in the drive, and I'm not the sort to wait" because I am totally like that! I'm totally willing to give chances, but then I'm off to live my life. I can't wait around for you to finally decide to tell the truth. The song ends with "yeah, you know I know" which goes back to my question from earlier: Why lie if you know you're gonna get caught? Do people just not realize that?

I think I'm glad I'm a bad liar--because at least that way I know when I'm lying, and with my need to be perfect, I think being imperfect in that keeps me from doing it. Thank goodness for that, because I also lack the memory to remember when/where/to whom I lied, and that would just make it worse.

* (Like, for example, when I thought that a song said something about hiding pain like dorian rain(?)...I'd heard it often, but the only explanation I could come up with was about how maybe drops of rain would hide the tears caused by pain...but I never had a computer nearby to look up what kind of raindorian rain was, or what it could indicate. ...well, it was pointed out to me last weekend that the song didn't say "dorian rain" but rather "Dorian Gray" which is a reference to " The Picture of Dorian Grey"by Oscar Wilde. It's a novel about a vain man who sells his soul so his portrait, and not himself, would suffer the effects of his sins. Pretty different from what what I'd thought.)
**I know women lie too, but "woman up" just doesn't sound right.
***I know someone who works in a prison, and she used to tell the inmates that they are the dumb criminals because they got caught, and then she'd go on to tell them how she would have committed their crimes differently so she didn't get arrested. I can't imagine saying something like that to a jailbird, but she was fearless, and it made for great stories.
**** at least you should know