I'm always amazed by myself. And that's not to say that I'm amazing, or impressive. Just that I surprise myself. I mean, I should be an expert on myself by now. But I am often awakened to a new understanding. And maybe it's just because I took the summer off school, but my brain has seriously regressed. I forget words all the time; I forget things that I was supposed to do; I ask the same question repeatedly, knowing that I've already asked, or at least wanted to ask, but unable to remember any response; I have little to no attention span; even less patience...I'm sure the list goes on, but I can't think of anything else...
Having the summer off has allowed me to slow down a little. I still had to work, and didn't really have any "free time" but I was able to take a little more time to do things, which I appreciate. (I am a pretty slow person.) It also allowed me to strengthen/renew some friendships which I'd allowed to decay.
And for the first time in my life I felt confidant in what I was doing. This may come as a shock to some of you (because I do my best to hide it...but then again, maybe I'm not as good at hiding it, and you are already aware), but I have a ton of insecurities and phobias. I've had them my whole life, so like a good friend, I'm used to having them around. They often help to protect me from the world. But in the recent years, I decided that I'd be a more interesting person if I got over all the things that stop me from doing things. All kids should have a memory of climbing a tree, right? I don't think I ever did, because I was afraid of falling out and hurting myself. And what good did it do me? It may have saved me from the temporary pain a broken arm, but it also "saved" me from the experience, and a story to share. It cut me off from humanity, because I turned myself into an emotionless machine.
For whatever reason (and I have some theories), this summer has been a time free from my own insecurities. I did what I wanted without thinking too hard about what other people would think of me, or what could go wrong, or how I should protect myself from pain or failure. And it was great! I didn't necessarily overcome any huge fears, but I did face them. And I gotta say, I kinda enjoyed doing it.
I'll be honest here: I'm not entirely sure why I'm writing this, or what my point is. I just love reading up on your lives, and I felt like I should post something a little more personal than my usual blunderings of randomness I encountered throughout the Internet. And I'm not really good at telling stories about myself because I've never really had any. And there's really nothing new with me to share. ...But I promise to tell you about something I did last week--something I never thought I'd do. I actually already wrote my post about it, but I'm waiting for the pictures to be sent to me so I can include one...You're probably gonna want to see a picture of this.
25 August 2008
23 August 2008
"I'm huntin' wrabbits."
Did you ever think you'd see me holding a gun? Me neither. But I went skeet shooting, and I actually hit something! I'm totally impressed! Some friends and I took a trip to Prado (the site of the 1984 Olympic shooting events). I am totally afraid of guns, but I'm trying to be brave, so I did it anyway. And the funny part is that I was fine while I was shooting because I was surrounded by professionals, and people were willing to figuratively hold my hand through the experience. But after I started feeling a little shaky. And as I was driving home, I kinda had a mini panic attack. I had to keep reminding myself to breath...kinda funny, I know. But it's one step at a time right? We're gonna go again, so let me know if you're interested!
*I was waiting for a friend to send me the pictures he took of me, but he's been busy (which I can totally understand), so I'm just gonna post this, and if I do get some pictures, I'll r-post it or link to it later, or something...
*I was waiting for a friend to send me the pictures he took of me, but he's been busy (which I can totally understand), so I'm just gonna post this, and if I do get some pictures, I'll r-post it or link to it later, or something...
18 August 2008
Ready for a change
Ok--you all get to help me make a decision, aren't you excited? I think I will soon be ready to change my hair style. How should I get it cut? Taking into account my round face, I want you to find some pictures of styles. You can email them to me at shrugsnkisses@gmail.com, and then I will post them in a few weeks for everyone to see and vote. I already have one or two styles in mind, but I'd love to see some other options!
14 August 2008
P, A, R, T, Y? Because I wanna.
I've decided to throw myself a last minute party. Friday, My place, 7 pm., Churrasco (Brazilian BBQ). Come if you can and want to, if not--no worries, cuz I'll give you a little more notice for something later in the month (I'm not really sure what). I've decided it's a whole month of joy! :-) Invite anyone you want.
10 August 2008
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