Inspired by Liz, I decided to share my 5 things list. I'll warn you now that in my quest to be perfect, I am usually pretty good at hiding these things...so I might have to go into hiding after posting this
1-Writing. I'm bad at this in every sense of the word. I'm bad at writing in general, my stories/essays/blog posts/journal entries generally end up being a random, unorganized stream of consciousness usually irrelevant to life and all things interesting; I'm bad at writing in the sense that spelling and everything grammatical are beyond me; I'm bad at writing to people, and even if i do, there's no guarantee that the letter would make it to the mail; and I'm bad at physically writing, my chicken scratch is hard to read and is usually situated on some imaginary curvy wave instead of a line.
2-Messages. As with Liz, I feel completely flustered and totally self conscious when leaving messages. I forget who I called, or why I called, or what my name is, etc. I would much rather just try calling back later...except that with caller ID you'd know that I called you every 10 minutes until you finally answered. (Oh, the simple days). Maybe this is some how related to #1 and the problem lies in my lack of coherent thought processes. Or maybe it's my lacking ability to describe/explain things.
3-Dreaming. I think this is because of my inability to remember my dreams when wake up in the morning, or maybe it's my fear of failure. Why dream of living in a mansion with a beach view and a personal assistant when I know that the closest I could ever come to that is being the personal assistant to someone who lives in a beach side mansion? ...and even that is probably not going to happen...Easier to just accept the life I have and try to maintain it.
4-Confrontation. I hate it. It's much easier for me to suffer through a bad situation than to open the can of worms that would be my attempt at resolving the issue. If there is something I do that annoys you, I expect you to tell me, because I can fix it. I can at least avoid doing it in front of you. And that's why I often want to tell people about things like that. "Hey, could you please not eat your fish near me?" or "You know how I hate being scared, right? ...so why did you just jump out at me?" or "Could you please, please, please, pretty-please, just clean up after yourself and not leave dirty dishes everywhere, and trash on my desk? Please?"...but when I've done that in the past, most people make a big deal about it and get offended and complicate my life. I don't care that you eat fish, scare people, or leave crap everywhere...as long as it isn't in my personal space. I really think I'm easy to get along with...but in these situations it would have been easier if I had just focused on keeping my mouth closed, and then everyone can be happy after.
5-Keeping my room clean. I can keep a house clean, and I hate dirt...but my bedroom usually ends up being the dumping ground for all the stuff I still need to do/finish/think about. When I lived with my BFF in our little basement apartment, I was really good about being tidy...although this may be simply because she is OCD about organization (which I love about her). And when I was in Brazil, I was really neat because, well, when you only have 2 suitcases worth of stuff it's really easy to put your 25 possessions away because 20 of them are books that sit nicely in a pile on your desk. ...Right now I like to use the "I don't have time" excuse, but who knows--maybe I am just a slob.
So...Are we still friends?