21 August 2009


What do you do when someone you trust tells you to change? Should I accept it because it's someone I trust and therefore is probably for my best? Or do I stick to my own ideas? Because it is a change that will change who I am...and I don't think I'm okay with that. I was told last week that I am too generous and kind. And I'm at a loss as to how that's a bad thing. Why do I have to stop that? Is it because it makes me too easy to love? Too hard to be mean to? To be honest, I think I'm kinda selfish and self-involved, but that's besides the point. Who are you to say I need to change? You, who can't say no? You, who is so angry at the world you can't see any color but red.
It's hard to imagine a life without you in it...but I'm not sure I can talk to you. I'm not sure how to act around you anymore. I'm not sure where the boundaries should be, and I'm never going to be okay with what you are doing. As Kate Hudson's character in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Andie, said "I love you Binky...but I don't have to like you right now." Well, I love you (fill in name here), but I don't have to like you right now. I don't feel appreciated. I don't feel important. So I'm not going to feel bad for ignoring you for a few days...I mean, I will, and it will break my heart every time, but...I don't know what else to do...
And the sad thing is that you probably won't even notice.

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