31 October 2008


You've probably noticed that I haven't really posted anything lately...And I'm not really sure why. Obviously it is a lack of inspiration, but there are other things lacking too. ...I just wish I could figure out what. Maybe it's motivation. I really don't want to do anything lately. I know that there are somethings I should do, and some that I need to do, and sometimes I can force myself to do them for those reasons alone, but my blog is an extra. It's not vital that I keep it up to date, and I know that if I forced myself to do it, it really wouldn't be that interesting, so what's the point?
Could it be the result of excess stress? I was talking to a friend about some memory issues I've been having, and he asked if I have been stressed out lately. And do you want to know my answer? Something along the lines of: "How do you know you're stressed out?" I honestly don't know. Because I'm not really good at stress. And maybe that's a sign that there is seriously something wrong with me, but for the most part, I am pretty emotionally even. It is easier to let things roll off you, and not worry about them. It is easier to be happy than to be sad. Is that just me refusing to feel? Am I avoiding my problems?
...I guess more than "my" problems right now it would be the problems of others...Well, of one in particular. Something I can't fix. And I have always thought "why stress about something you can't change?" but now I think I understand. People fear the unknown. Because you don't know what's going to happen, and you want to do all you can to make sure everything will be okay. But you know that it's out of your hands. And if it were my problem I might be able to accept that...but since it belongs to someone else I feel this need to help. And I've never been good at that. Well, I'm pretty good at helping if you give me a job. I guess it's the coming up with ideas on how to help...or maybe it's the comforting that I'm not so good at--sitting idle and not knowing what to do or say. Because you don't want to bring up the bad situation, but you don't want to ignore it either. If it were my problem I'd just run away, and focus on other things. Pretend everything was okay. But how do you do that to someone else without coming off heartless and cold? How can you be supportive while also being evasive?

*I really haven't taken a vacation in a while, and anyone who really knows me, knows how vital vacations are to my health. So maybe I should just do that--just take a weekend road trip, or even a day trip. But where would I go, and with what money?

14 October 2008

Yes on Prop 8

Because I am not eloquent, I have delayed this entry. I will vote yes on prop 8 with all my heart. Family is something I firmly believe in. And a family is a mother, a father, and children. I understand that there are exceptions to every rule, and unfortunately sometimes parents get divorced, or pass away, or many other things...and then you have to do the best you can with what you have. But that doesn't mean people should seek to create these incomplete families. A couple can be selfish and do whatever they want, but as soon as a child is involved, it has to be about what is best for the child. One document that offers great insight into what a family is, was written in 1995 and distributed to the world. It is called "The Family: A Proclamation to the World." And don't feel like you have to look at all these, but there are many other resources which offer explanations about what marriage is/isn't; what exactly Prop. 8 is; what it means to CA residents; and some predictions on possible outcomes.
I hope you understand that this is not a homophobic act. This is not "anti-gay." This is not about discriminating against homosexuals. Homosexual couples will maintain the same rights they have now. This is about freedom of religion, because religious institutions should not be expected to adapt their beliefs to meet the demands of government. This is about protecting democracy and showing that when we vote for something, we expect our vote to matter, and not be over turned by 4 individuals who think they know better than we do.
But mostly, this is about protecting the family. That's why I'm voting yes on prop. 8. Everything else is just a happy bonus.

08 October 2008


I stumbled across this while roaming around the blog world (the funny thing is that I've actually met them! And I was looking at the pictures thinking "I've been there!"):
For attractive lips ,
speak words of kindness...
For lovely eyes ,
seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure ,
share your food
with the hungry.
For beautiful hair ,
let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise ,
walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone...

People, even more than things, have to be restored,
renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed;
never throw out anyone.

~Audrey Hepburn

Now, I didn't do any research to find out if she really said that or not, but I really like it! She is pretty much my hero. For a long time now I've noticed a lack in my life. I've felt "unattractive." Unattractive in the internal way. And I am a firm believer that inner beauty can shine outwardly. IE once you get to know someone, they get "cuter." Personality counts for a lot. And I don't think I ever thought about this, but Actions count for even more. I'm going to have to pay attention to this and see if I can improve myself through any of these methods.

06 October 2008

RTFIMO (Random Things Found In My Office)

I've probably told you about how random my job is. In case you didn't believe me, I decided to take a few pictures of the random things I have all around me.

The Pixy's benches. They are only about a foot tall, so if you're little friends need a place to sit down, send them my way:

Yes, that's a full drum set. (Shouldn't every serious office have one?):

The weird black and white thing...I'm honestly not sure what it's purpose it...I can only assume it is a photography back drop of some kind. But I'm always tempted to encourage people to climb on in and put on a shadow show for me:

And my personal favorite--the air gun, in case you need to blow papers off your co-worker's desk, without him knowing it was you: